9-11
One day in Australia a small girl named Alice was having a fine day until 9-11 happened. 9-11 was terrifying to Alice because her home is in New York City. Alice was very sad because she was in Australia, far from New York City. Her younger brother Jack was two years old and at home in New York City. They took a walk downtown and big TV`s were showing what was going on back in New York City. 9-11 almost killed her brother because Alice`s family lived in the Twin Towers. 9-11 was terrifying time for many people. It killed hundreds of people. The Australians felt sorry for Alice`s family because they knew they were from New York City. 9-11 happened because people crashed into the Twin Towers and set them on fire, but in the end Alice made it home safely.
The End
Good job weaving in a fictional character and situation into the real events of 9-11. I think you might want to rearrange a few sentences, and make sure it's clear where Alice's brother is. It seems like he is in Australia with Alice, but then you say he is New York City with his family. I liked how you portrayed the feelings of someone who was from New York City watching the events happen from another location. Good job! Mrs. Sullivan
ReplyDeleteI liked that the main character was in Australia. It was a good story!! Rylee
ReplyDeleteit was a very good story try to make it longer Marshall
ReplyDeleteWhy should I make it longer?Why is it in Australia?But I also liked your story.
ReplyDeleteI
ReplyDeletereally like the story
JACLYN
You did very well hope ya write more!!! Abby
ReplyDeleteI like col.ors
ReplyDeleteI don't think you should change 1 thing nice thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Margaret p.s I love the colors:) :) :) :) :)
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