We have all heard about 9-11, but here is a story you may not have heard. You see, my uncle was in the Pentagon on 9-11. An airplane crashed into the building. My uncle called 911. He started helping people by getting them out of the smoky areas.
He tried to help one man and got trapped when the walls around them caved in. He got out when he found a rod and busted his way out. He got the many out by carrying him on his shoulders. Then he saw a little boy crying and looking hungry. So he gave him a hot dog. He helped the little boy find his dad who was working there in a meeting that day. To me, my uncle was the hero of September 11th.
I loved your introduction, getting the reader's attention and letting them know this is a story they may not have heard about September 11th. I also liked how you ended the story, using your personal opinion about who the real hero of September 11th was. Good job! Mrs. Sullivan
ReplyDeleteGreat story, I love the part about the hotdog. Maybe change the name to "The crash of 9-11". From Isaac
ReplyDeletechang the hotdog from billy
ReplyDeleteWhy did you give him a hot dog? Make a name for the boy! I love the story!^_^Ryan
ReplyDeletenice story but you could change the title and why a hot dog??????????margaret:)
ReplyDelete